A puzzled puzzle person

I’m not usually one for competitive activities. Anyone who tries to rope me into games of any sort always tells me, “It’s just for fun.” That is one of the great lies of all times. It is not just for fun or else we wouldn’t keep score. When I am stuck doing something like this, my goal is always not to humiliate myself.

So it was perhaps an unusual move for me to willingly take part in a competitive activity, the second annual Arkansas Puzzle Day at the Clinton School, featuring competition in both crosswords and Sudoku. But I am a crossword enthusiast, so I went and set an ambitious goal for myself. I did not want to finish last.

I sat at a table with a convivial group of fellow puzzlers, several of whom had the same ambition I did. “Someone has to finish last,” Jay said, explaining why he had come. We were especially concerned about completing each puzzle in 15 minutes. This is not how we do crossword puzzles. We usually work on them for a while, leave them alone and come back. Puzzles were to be savored, not rushed.

We also feared puzzles with devilish twists such as those perpetrated by the nefarious Will Shortz, the New York Times puzzle editor. I particularly remember one, where the solver, instead of putting a letter in the box, had to draw a picture of a key. (The scariest part is that I figured it out). But our puzzle master, Merl Reagle, said that the puzzles would be “straightforward,” although he did say the first puzzle was unlike any other crossword we had ever seen.

The first puzzle was passed out, the clock started and the pencils (no egomaniacs with pens here) got moving. I got off to a good start, but noticed that there seemed to be a lot of “U’s” in the answers. But I didn’t pick up on it until Reagle said so afterwards that U was the only vowel in the puzzle.

The second puzzle’s theme was “Play Rooms.” The advantage of theme puzzles is that if you can figure out the theme, you can solve the puzzle. (Not always; I once solved an entire New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle and still had no idea what the theme was). I looked at the first theme clue, “Need a chiropractor? Visit the ______room,” and thought of — absolutely nothing. So I worked as furiously as I could on other clues but still came up blank on the theme, until finally the environmentally correct compact fluorescent light bulb went on. AHA! 19 across “Need a U.S. map? Visit the _____room. Of course! The STATE room. They kept coming. A bridal party is in the SHOWER room. A cow is in the STOCK room.

But then I got to one last corner of the puzzle, and the light bulb, which is supposed to last for five years, blacked out like the most energy inefficient incandescent bulb. I had the room where you go for a medical test, the _ _ _ _ENING room and the room for macaroni, the _ _ _ OW room and I couldn’t think of a single thing. The other clues were of no help. I furiously scribbled and erased letters, which were obviously wrong, until time ran out. Then I heard someone mention the SCREENING room. I filled that in and it gave me the other word the ELBOW room. AAAGHH!

The third puzzle was a quote. Usually these are quotes you never heard of, so it takes some work, but if you can solve enough of the other clues, you can come up with it. I actually found this puzzle the easiest of the three and solved it with several minutes to spare. The quote was “Does this dream about turning into a dog bother you?”

“No, but it does give me paws.”

The only standings that were announced were the final three, including Janet from our table, so I don’t know where I actually finished. But since at least two people at my table didn’t finish any of the puzzles, I think I was not last.

For the final round, the three top crossword puzzlers and the three top Sudoku finishers went to the center table for the finals, but all of us could do the puzzle. I got off to a great start, figuring out the theme (Snacks on A Plane) quickly. I did have a mistake in one corner: a four-letter word for the clue “It comes down hard?” which I knew could not be HAIP.

I finished the rest and came back. As I looked at the words every piece of knowledge I ever had promptly leaked right out of my brain.

E

T E R A N

U

H A I P

T

S

The clues were 43 down, “jump for joy,” 45 across “Carol Burnett, by birth,” and 55 across “It comes down hard?”

Then I did something I had not done throughout the entire competition. I looked up and saw the puzzle next to me. There was an X where I had the R. (I felt guilty, but it didn’t mean anything by this time.) So I changed the R to an X — and I STILL COULDN’T FIGURE IT OUT!

I know some of you are probably snickering right now as I try EXUDE and EXUPT. Once the time is up, it comes right to me:EXULT. AAGHH!

So I competed in my first tournament, performed respectably and had a good time. But as a puzzle person, I still have a way to go. When I was speaking to Regale earlier, he asked me to spell my last name. VERDEROSA. He thought for a second and said, “When you scramble it up, it’s ‘Reads Over.’”

Now that’s a real puzzle person.

Schools’ test scores show improvement

So far, the news on Benchmark test scores for the DeWitt School District is pretty good, but administrators are still crossing their fingers waiting for more detailed reports to come out, including the all-important determination of whether the schools met AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) requirements.

Suggestions abound for boosting downtown

The latest step in getting the Arkansas Downtown Network program implemented in DeWitt came last Thursday night, as members of the community gathered to share their visions of what they would like the program to do.

Find Fourth fun Friday

Folks favoring Fourth fun will have two choices Friday.

J&M Farms named District Farm Family

J&M Farms of Gillett, the South Arkansas County Farm Family of the Year, has been named the Southeast District Farm Family of the year.

Obituaries

Raymond O’Neal Gaddis

Pilgrim Reflections

Self-evident truths: Building a godly nation

A puzzled puzzle person

I’m not usually one for competitive activities. Anyone who tries to rope me into games of any sort always tells me, “It’s just for fun.” That is one of the great lies of all times. It is not just for fun or else we wouldn’t keep score. When I am stuck doing something like this, my goal is always not to humiliate myself.

DeWitt Police Report

DeWitt Police reported answering the following calls June 20-25: