Strange Complaints

As much as I was worried about reaching the age where I was older than both of my parents ever had a chance to be, it never dawned on me just how old that would make me feel.

Last week my sister’s central air seemed to have died so I loaded up a gigantic window unit and made my way to her house fully intending to install it. Thankfully I’d also brought a smaller unit as apparently the simple act of lifting the larger unit and placing it in the back seat of the car resulted in my back getting angry with me.

It’s stayed that way ever since then, which has me walking around my own house with the use of a cane and many four lettered words of enjoyment at each back spasm.

I think I was so focused on the fact that I didn’t believe I would ever make it to this age that I forgot to prepare for actually making it to this age.

Ever the typical “guy” I know I don’t take care of myself perhaps as much as I should, but it’s shocking at how unprepared I was for how I feel at this age.

What’s funny is I can vividly recall watching my father around this age and wondering why he was having so much trouble doing something as simple as tying his shoes. He’d huff and puff and basically have to take a small break after doing one shoe before he bent down to finish the job on the other one.

Flash forward to today and it’s like I’m deep sea diving when I try to tie my boots as I take a great big gulp of air and then hold it while trying to bend down and tie up my laces. Should I manage to accomplish the feat I jerk back up and let out the breath I’d been holding as if I’d just swum back out of the depths.

It’s… let’s just say I’ve been looking back through my memories with a much kinder and understanding eye than I actually used at the time. Dad worked on oilfield compressors for the last 26 years of his life so I’m 1000% positive his arthritis makes mine look (and probably feel) like a joke.

Anyways, let me get back to tying my left boot. I’ve literally taken a break in between so I could catch my breath and figured I might as well write this column while doing so.

I wish I were joking…